1. A large capacity for feelings means a strong susceptibility to destruction. When someone bulldozes the town you live in, build stronger, taller buildings and wallpaper them with possibility. Do not be buried alive under the rubble. Do not move away. Do not disown the city you call home.
2. Find women that know how to get what they want and have spent a lifetime doing it. Make a mobile from their words and hang it over your bed. Watch it spin every night; let the carousel of their wisdom become your inaudible bedtime story.
3. No matter what it is, own it. Own your crazy. Own your failure. Own your sexiness. Own your fat ass. Own your darkness. It’s yours. Wear it around your neck; clutch it close.
4. Beware of falling in love with an artist that is more like a scientist. He will spend more time dissecting you, examining you in parts than framing you, playing with you, or turning your essence into prose. You will be a chapter in a textbook you do not understand. You will struggle to pass his class. You will stay up late cramming for exams that you are designed to fail. It’s okay if you do.
5. Some of us will always be wine and dessert, no matter how much society wants us to be water and yogurt.
6. Don’t just put yourself in someone else’s shoes; walk around in them. Sleep in them. Cry in them. Wear them to their parents’ house and their favorite restaurant and learn so much about them that it becomes impossible to judge.
7. Find friends that will lie in the trenches with you without question. When you have the strength to pull yourself out, take them to mountaintops and show them how vast your love for them is.
8. A walk of shame is just maximizing the visibility of your amazing outfit in better lighting.
9. I’m terrified that everyone that feels like home to me will eventually put the house we live in up for sale and move to a street with a better view. If this happens to you, and you aren’t ready to buy a new house just yet, rent a small apartment and dance around it in your underwear alone until it’s time to build a home with someone new.
10. Listen to Jay Z: Don’t be a businessman. Be a business, man.
11. Be able to recognize when you are a fantasy in someone’s story or they are one in yours. Do not allow yourself to be two dimensional. Do not omit someone’s truths and always fight for your own depth.
12. If music is your world, do not feel guilty for not wanting to be with people who want to live their life in silence or will not dance to your soundtrack. Sometimes our tastes reflect bigger pieces of who we are, and little things can become big things over time.
13. Enjoy eating. Do not let anyone or anything shame you for your dietary choices. Never make food your enemy.
14. Be the captain of your own ship. Do not stay anchored at the shore you know because you are content with the view. Risk braving rough waters to reach islands you didn’t even know you wanted to see.
15. Do not fuck with men who refuse to go down on women. Seriously.
16. Don’t read books you’re not interested in because some dude told you they were amazing. Same with movies. Or tv shows. Or music. If all you wanna do is read Mindy Kaling’s memoir and Harper’s Bazaar and listen to Beyonce and One Direction, do not let anyone make you feel inferior for that. Because all of that shit’s awesome.
17. One pair of black jeans that make your ass look like perfection are an investment I would recommend to anyone.
18. Make conversation with the people you sit with on airplanes. You never know who you’re sitting next to.
19. Keep yourself on your toes. Wear discomfort like a bathrobe. Make it your new year’s resolution to be fearless. Renew it like a magazine subscription every year until you feel like you don’t need to anymore.
20. Every cliché about your girlfriends, wine, and dessert making any heartache better is true. No matter what wrecking ball has swarmed in and made crumbles of your life, and no matter how much you want to weather your hurricanes alone, there is no shame in admitting you need to seek shelter in the arms of a friend.
21. When you can’t be happy, be really good at being sad. Listen to the best sad songs. Perfect your ugly cry. Go all the way and do that sink to the floor against your bedroom door thing. Pull your knees to your chest in the shower.
22. March through your life like you’re in a goddamn parade. The Macy’s Day Parade, the one that everyone watches on their most thankful day of the year. Know that people are thankful for you. Be thankful for you.❞
I wrote this a year ago today when I was in a really bad place and maybe it’s dumb to reblog yourself like this but I feel pretty fucking great about where I’m at today compared to where I was on October 6th, 2013 and I still believe all 22 of these things wholeheartedly.